Nekomonogatari (White) Read online

  the tiger nodded.

  Looking unyinterested.

  Like it couldn’t care less about a nyaberration like me.

 

  It really said it.

  Nyow that was annyoying.

 

  “A kindred aberration?”

  Nyow it was my turn to tilt my head.

  This one and me shoulda come from completely different places─nyo, maybe that’s nyot what it meant.

  Kindred as animals, simply.

  Cats and tigers─is what it musta meant. Nyow I understood.

  “Well,” I said, “of course I nyoh─but I’m nyot here to block your way or anything. Nyot one teeny-tiny bit. I’m nyot very smart, but I at least nyoh where I stand here.”

  the tiger said. How rude.

  It really did like to talk for a nyaberration that wasn’t even humanyoid, though.

  That actually made me worry more.

 

  “Well, I’m just here to announce something─I don’t care one bit what you came to this town for or why you’re still here. Go ahead and do whatever you nyeed to do. I’m nyot interested one bit in what you really are, either. Because that’s how aberrations are. But─” I said.

  Maybe I wasn’t making an announcement.

  Nyow that I think about it, I should have called it a declaration of war.

  “─if you do anything more to harm my myaster─I’ll kill you.”

  <…I see.>

  The tiger took in my words.

  And then─it silently nyodded, like it understood.

  Like it was chewing it over.

  Like it was chewing─a piece of meat between its teeth.

  It nodded.

 

  “Nyo, I wouldn’t say possessed─maybe if I was a nyormal Afflicting Cat. But I’m, like, her,” I helpfully explained to the tiger who finally remembered me, or rather, my myaster. It’s nyot something you’d be able to understand without an explanation─even that Hawaiian-shirted expurrt didn’t understand it all.

  Nyo one can understand the truth of a nyaberration.

  “It’d be closer to call it assimyalation, or no, mewnification. I am my myaster, and my myaster is me─my myaster’s personality is the dominant one, of course, but I might actually have more control over our actions. Because I’m the fundamental, primitive core of my myaster’s psyche.”

 

  It went and said it again.

  It’s nyot like I purrticularly wanted this thing to like me, but it woulda been nyice if it had a little more interest in me.

 

  “……”

 

  Saying so, the tiger─glared at me hard.

  That very instant, I leapt.

  Nyuh oh, I thought─like we were just about to get into a fight.

  This tiger was awfully violent─awfully simplistic─

  And so I leapt.

  I flew.

  Nyot a step backward, much more than that. I took off with everything I had─like I really wanted to soar, to fly over a meowntain.

  But.

  Once I tumbled onto the ground somewhere on the outskirts of town after more than five minutes of airtime, I have no idea how it got there first, but in front of me─

  There stood a tiger.

 

  “……”

 

  If I’d made a declaration of war.

  The tiger’s words were an ultimatum.

  019

  “Could you please wipe your feet before you come in?”

  Waiting for me when I returned to the apartment was Hitagi Senjogahara, nyow holding a wet towel.

  I thought I’d nyopened the door without alerting anyone to my presence, and of course without making a sound, but it seemed like the woman had already arisen.

  “It’s easy for me to wake up in the morning. It’s because I’m high-strung. Didn’t I tell you?”

  “Well, nyot to me.”

  “But you’re Miss Hanekawa, aren’t you?”

  Here, Hitagi Senjogahara held out the wet towel like it was a nyormal thing to do. I just took it.

  I wiped my feet, just like she told me to. I wasn’t paying much attention, but it made sense to me when I saw the towel turn black. I must’ve been pretty dirty.

  “I guess it is the first time I’m meeting you… Black Hanekawa, right?”

  “Sure, that’s good enyough.”

  “I see,” she said, nyow holding out her other, empty hand.

  “…? What’s the idea?”

  “Oh, I just thought we’d shake hands because we’re meeting for the first time.”

  “Do you nyot listen to a word anyone says to you?” She seemed hopeless, but I educated her. “My special trait as an Afflicting Cat is my always-active enyergy drain. Touch me and I’ll suck up your vitality─I’m nyot giving anyone a handshake.”

  “Energy drain. Yes, I’ve heard,” Hitagi Senjogahara stated plainly, “but it’s not like you suck it all up in a single moment, right? I should at least be able to shake your hand.”

  “……”

  I started to say something─but decided nyot to.

  It didn’t seem like saying anything would make a difference with her.

  So I silently took her hand─but only for a meowment.

  “Ugh─” she groaned for that one meowment─and that was all.

  Enyough lassitude to make a lot of people fall to their nyees should have been assaulting her whole body, but she didn’t even show any sign of distress. True, my enyergy drain wasn’t enough to make someone pass out after a single meowment, but most people couldn’t take it─and I’d shaken her hand nyowing that.

  I guess my plan had failed.

  Still, and while I’m sure these were my myaster’s feelings─some part of me went, Nyaturally.

  Nyaturally.

  Nyaturally, this woman.

  “……”

  Well.

  I─and of course, my myaster, too.

  It’s nyot like either of us wanted to see her in pain.

  But something about that nyon-reaction of hers tore into my heart.

  “Nice to meet you. And please, take care,” she continued as if to pile it on, with a smile, even. “Please, take care of Miss Hanekawa.”

  020

  ……

  How did that happen?

  We skipped three sections at once this time.

  What happened while I was asleep?

  Everything’s okay, right?

  Nothing weird happened, did it?

  “Good morning, Miss Hanekawa,” called out Miss Senjogahara, sitting in front of me as I lay too confused even to begin stirring on the futon.

  Hm?

  Something about her expression seemed absentminded, in complete contrast to the day before─no, maybe not absentminded or sleepy, it was like she was just plain exhausted─

  But what kind of condition was she in to be tired as soon as she woke up?

  It’s not as if she could’ve had her energy drained by an Afflicting Cat.

  “You’re up early, Miss Hanekawa… It’s only six.”

  “Yup.”

  Today I had really relied on my circadian rhythm─though I could
have slept in a little later because Miss Senjogahara’s home was closer to Naoetsu High than mine.

  But it’s not like waking up early ever hurt anybody.

  “Well, you’re up, too, Miss Senjogahara.”

  “I go on a little run in the mornings,” she said, standing up slowly. “It’s not easy for me to keep this figure, you know… I’ve got the kind of body that turns anything I eat straight into flesh.”

  “Straight into flesh…”

  Was that her roundabout way of saying she put on weight easily?

  Then again, she once had some special circumstances relating to her weight, so maybe she was particularly fussy about managing it. It wasn’t as if she was a model, though, and she’d look more charming if she were a little thicker, in my humble opinion.

  Was there really a need for her arms and legs to be that skinny?

  Looking at them, I got scared that they might snap.

  “I’m jealous of you, Miss Hanekawa. You’ve got the kind of body that turns whatever you eat straight into chest…”

  “Straight into chest…”

  What kind of a body was that?

  Listen, it’s not exactly easy for me, either.

  It’s tough being a girl.

  After washing her face, Miss Senjogahara changed into shorts and a T-shirt and began stretching for her run.

  Wow…

  She was flexible!

  I was doubting my own eyes.

  Her body had wobbled around like it was an overdone 3D animation.

  It was incredible. Like she was a mollusk.

  “Sorry. Can I try touching you?” I requested.

  “Hm? Do you mean my right breast? Or my left one?”

  “No, I mean your back…”

  “My right shoulder blade? Or my left one?”

  “I don’t have whatever kind of ultra-specific fetish you’re talking about…”

  She was really quick.

  That was a skill I didn’t have.

  I walked behind her as I thought this and pushed her back as she did a perfect split.

  Her torso was now flat on the floor.

  Zero resistance, zero friction.

  Like there’d been no need to push at all.

  “Why is your body this flexible? Should joints have this much motion? Actually, I don’t even know if your joints are connected to begin with…”

  “Um, stretching can be addictive… And I mean that in a masochistic way.”

  “Did you really need to add that clarification?”

  “I can’t get enough of the feeling of everything inside my body creaking and straining.”

  “You don’t seem to be straining very much, though.”

  “There’s no strain left in it any longer. Stretching is so boring now.”

  It was boring for her…

  True, you only get more flexible the more you stretch.

  The fruits of her training during her time on the track team─or maybe the traces of it.

  “Miss Hanekawa, would you like to run with me?”

  “No, but I’ll make breakfast in the meantime. We can eat together once you get back.”

  “Do you not like to run?”

  “That’s not it.”

  If anything, I’m someone who likes exercise.

  I even have a little habit of running in the mornings, though I don’t do it every day.

  It was just that I could imagine the scene after getting back being yet another shower with Miss Senjogahara, and I thought we might not need that much fanservice crammed in.

  It’d be indecent, and in more ways than one.

  “Actually,” I suggested, “why don’t you also take a break from running today? You look tired to me.”

  “I want to run the most when I’m feeling tired.”

  “I guess you are a jock, after all.”

  A former member of the track team. Her spirit had been tempered, too.

  It didn’t seem worth it to try and stop her, so after helping her with her stretches (though I didn’t do anything you could call “helping” in the end), I saw her off and went to the kitchen.

  021

  “Mgh.”

  Miss Senjogahara made an indescribable face as soon as she put a cucumber from her salad into her mouth.

  I thought it would be wrong to tamper with someone else’s kitchen too much, so I’d prepared a very simple breakfast. Leftover bread from the day before with hot milk. A simple salad and a fried egg on top of bacon. When I laid it out on the table, though, she did comment on how good it looked.

  Everything was fine as she chugged down her milk, but her demeanor changed when she put the first bite of salad into her mouth.

  Like a switch had been flicked.

  “Could I ask you a question, Miss Hanekawa?”

  “What is it?”

  “Oh, no, hold on. First let me be sure that this unbelievable situation really is happening.”

  She continued to fill her cheeks with more salad. She kept going, silently eating her eggs and bread.

  The grave expression stuck to her face the entire time.

  I’m not a dull person. I could tell pretty much what she was thinking, based on her reaction, but…hmm?

  Had I messed something up?

  I started to think, and then I took my own fearful bite of the food I’d prepared─nothing seemed particularly strange. At least, it didn’t seem like I’d done something like burn the eggs or get dish detergent in the food.

  Then what could have been bothering her so?

  “Hmm,” she said suggestively, noticing that I was now the one with suspicion in my eyes.

  “Uh, Miss Senjogahara─”

  “Miss Hanekawa. Do you know what dressing is?”

  “Huh?” The question caught me by surprise. “Well, of course I know what it is. The stuff that people sometimes put on salads.”

  “I see, I see.” She gave a deep, understanding nod. “There are three competing factions in Japan when it comes to fried eggs. People who put Worcestershire sauce on them, people who put soy sauce on them, and people who put salt and pepper on them. What’s your stance there?”

  “Oh, I’ve heard of those people before. Yes, apparently some people put things on fried eggs.”

  “Yup, yup.” She nodded again like she was conducting an experiment and was pleased with the results. “Did you notice the spread and the jam in the fridge?”

  “I saw them, but…we had those just yesterday. Oh, oops─did you want to use them?”

  “Hm.”

  But rather than get up to grab butter or anything else from the refrigerator, she tore off another piece of bread, put it in her mouth, and silently chewed.

  Silently.

  “I have a few more questions.”

  “Please, go ahead.”

  “They’re about your culinary lifestyle.”

  “My culinary lifestyle? I think my eating habits are very ordinary, but okay.”

  “How much soy sauce do you use on sushi?”

  “None.”

  “How many times do you dip your tempura in sauce?”

  “None.”

  “Spoons of sugar in your yogurt?”

  “Zero.”

  “What do you write on your meals with ketchup?”

  “A blank.”

  “Any sauce on your okonomiyaki?”

  “Plain.”

  “Do you salt your rice balls?”

  “Just rice.”

  “What syrup do you get on your shaved ice?”

  “Simple.”

  “How many sugar cubes in your after-meal coffee?”