Otorimonogatari Page 7
It seems like there were a lot of other variations, though.
Not just snakes, but bees, and frogs, and strangely enough, even shrimp─i wonder what a shrimp curse is.
Would it cause your spine to break?
In any case, Nadeko swallowed those malicious words hook, line, and sinker─even though their malice was only malicious.
The girl was hardly a villain, much less a demoness.
Nadeko went to the bookstore and looked for ways to undo the “charm”─in this case, normally the “right” thing to do would have been to go to Mister Kaiki, wherever he was in town, and pay him to undo it. Unfortunately, Nadeko wasn’t familiar with these rumors (Nadeko only learned about Mister Kaiki’s existence during summer break. i didn’t know yet that the charms were an artificial fad), and even if she did know, asking a stranger for help would have been too difficult for Nadeko.
That’s why Nadeko did her best to teach herself how to undo her curse─it backfired, and the sham curse that wasn’t supposed to activate ended up being invoked (which is why i asked Koyomi for help from the beginning this time, having learned from that), but well, let’s put that aside for now.
The method of undoing the curse that Nadeko tried─was to split a wild snake into five equal pieces and follow certain steps to crucify it on the trunk of a tree.
Nadeko used a chisel.
To take a snake─and hack it to pieces.
And instead of a nail, i used the chisel to pin the snake’s entire body to a tree.
i continued this massacur for about a week.
i was following the proper steps to undo a curse.
But the more i did it, the stronger the curse got and the more forcefully an invisible snake wrapped around Nadeko─if Koyomi hadn’t found her, she’d probably be…
“You’d probably be what now─hmmmm? You would have massacred even more snakes, huh?”
“…”
Nadeko has no reply for the colossal white snake─for the Serpent’s words.
That’s right.
Nadeko wasn’t a victim back then.
Because if Nadeko hadn’t done anything─the curse would have been harmless, and even if that wasn’t true.
As far as all the snakes Nadeko killed are concerned.
For the victims Nadeko sacrificed to save herself─
For those dozen-or-more lives.
All Nadeko is, is guilty.
“Well, be that as it may, mark me impressed─you killed all of those snakes as sacrifices, in vain too, but acted like none of it ever happened and played the part of a victim, going on and on about ‘Big Brother Koyomi’─you’ve got some nerve.”
“…”
“I’d be happy to remind you if you’ve really forgotten─exactly how you killed all of my brethren. The way you searched in the weeds for snakes, your valiant yet placid mug when you grabbed their heads, how it felt chopping them up with a chisel─”
“S…Stop it,” Nadeko finally says.
She recalls how her hands shook.
She felt anything but “vallyant.”
“i-i remember… i remember, so…”
“Oh. You do?”
“B-But…i had to.”
“You had to? Uh huh, I bet the friend who cursed you would say the same thing─she just ‘had to’ curse you, she couldn’t help it,” the Serpent jeers.
i can’t read his expression because he’s a snake─and because of just how big he is, but malice is all i sense in his words.
Just plain─
Malice.
The kind you can find anywhere.
“‘But I had to!’─that’s what everyone says, tossing their morals aside. They’re all infantile, such hopelessly simplistic brats.”
“…Nadeko is…”
“People don’t know who they’re trampling on as they go about their lives─everyone thinks they’re just standing on the ground. But no, what’s under your feet isn’t the ground, it might be ants, it might be caterpillars, or it might just be snakes─”
“!!”
As soon as she hears the words, Nadeko moves her leg away.
Because all of a sudden─she’s standing on a white snake, no, actually, it’s a hallucination, i wasn’t standing on anything.
But it just happened to be a hallucination this time.
People are always. Nadeko is always.
Stepping all over something.
“No, no, no, no, my dear, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I’m not trying to criticize you─unlike me, the ‘living’ all need to claim other lives in order to live. Call it original sin, or maybe karma, or maybe nature─”
“…”
“Of course, hacking up all of those snakes means something completely different from getting your daily bread. Because the snakes you killed─that you not only killed but whose lives you left hanging, didn’t serve you any purpose at all. They died like dogs─it does sound strange to say a snake died like a dog, but it was worse than dying in vain. Because they only put you in a worse spot by dying─hmmmm?”
“…”
“But then, what? You were able to meet Koyomi again because of it, so maybe they, my slaughtered brethren, did serve some purpose for you─”
“P-Please stop,” Nadeko says.
She has both hands over her ears─but that’s not going to block out a hallucination.
That’s right.
She could probably close her eyes─and still see it.
The colossal thing before Nadeko coiled around the shrine.
“What are you…trying to say? What do you know about Big Brother Koyomi? He’s, he’s, to Nadeko he’s a very─”
“Well, I actually know a decent bit about Big Brother Koyomi─but it doesn’t matter. The issue right now, my dear, is what you ended up doing─”
What Nadeko “ended up” doing.
What i did─how i failed. i’d forgotten it all.
The original sin that i never even recalled.
“Wh-What… S-So do i need to apologize? Do you want Nadeko to apologize? B-Bringing Nadeko here…e-even making her hallucinate, and cornering her like this… Wh-What do you mean, atone? Nadeko’s…”
i frantically join one word to the next.
Because it feels like Mister Serpent is never going to stop attacking Nadeko once she’s done talking─and so Nadeko forces herself to speak.
“What does…Nadeko need to do?”
“What do you need to do?”
Heh, the Serpent laughs.
His fangs bared.
“Most people would normally beg for forgiveness─it’s pretty impressive that you haven’t even asked for it.”
“…”
“So you feel like you failed, but not like you did anything wrong, is that it? Because you ‘had to’? I suppose so, snakes are nothing more than lowly reptiles to humans.”
“…N-Nadeko doesn’t─”
“What?” the Serpent stops Nadeko from making excuses. “Maybe I shouldn’t have used a roundabout word like ‘atone’─it’s been a while since the last time I spoke to a human, so it’s hard to pick the right tone. Sorry, sorry─sorry about that, hmmmm?”
Now the Serpent is the one apologizing to Nadeko─though i don’t feel anything resembling sincerity in his speech.
If anything, it feels like he’s making fun of weak little Nadeko with everything he has─and if “making fun” is going too far, i guess it feels like he’s playing with Nadeko.
“Well, I just have a request for you, Nadeko. If you’re willing to feel the least bit bad about killing a dozen or so of my brethren─I just have a tiny little thing I wanted to request.”
“Request…”
“Oh, or maybe it’d be better to put it this way, my dear?”
The Serpent.
The colossal white snake─opens its mouth wide, and even though he isn’t supposed to have any kind of expression on his face─he gives Nadeko an amused wink.
It’s not c
ute at all.
“Won’t you save me, Nadeko?”
“…”
It feels like he’s asking for the impossible.
But saying no feels even more impossible.
“S-Sure,” Nadeko says.
With her ears blocked. With her eyes covered.
Nadeko says: “J-Just a little, okay?”
Now that i think about it though, this tale’s conclusion must have been set in stone at that point─even if i knew what Mister Serpent was trying to make Nadeko do, even if i knew what he was going to do to her─even if i knew the truth and the whole truth, Nadeko would have nodded yes all the same. i don’t think her fate would have changed.
The tale only being a tale.
A future where Nadeko and Big Brother Koyomi fight to the death.
Keeps inching closer.
009
“Huh─so you don’t see it now? The white snake you were talking about?”
“Y-Yeah… It’s okay now. L-Looking back on it, the white snake that came out of the desk and the shoe cubby must have been a trick of the eye.”
“It tricked your eyes? Then it’s an aberration after all.”
“N-No. Just a trick of the eye.”
“Hmm… Well, fine then…”
“Y-Yeah. i’m doing fine. i’m doing great.”
Night.
Big Brother Koyomi called Nadeko at home right at ten─just like he promised.
He wasn’t even a second off.
Contrary to his reputation as someone who’s always late, Koyomi is surprisingly “punkchul.”
“S-Sorry. i must have worried you… i was probably just feeling down. I-It’s not good, is it─blaming everything on aberrations.”
“Well, true, but─hmm. Hold on a second, Shinobu’s right here…”
With that remark, he seems to move his phone away from his ear. Koyomi’s cell is sensitive enough that i just barely hear them.
“Hey, Sengoku’s saying she imagined it all─what do you think, Shinobu?”
“Imagining it all─at that point, ’tis already a manner of aberration. Hmph, yet this is the forelocked girl we speak of─so perhaps ’tis fine, to leave it be.”
“Really? The way I see it, we can never be too careful in her case given what happened last time. Don’t you think I ought to see her in person and hear her out, just to be sure?”
“Nay, I do not. At all. Not in the slightest. We ought not to dig deeper if the girl herself says she is fine. She told thee from the start the matter wasn’t serious, no?”
“Sure, but…”
They seem to be conferring.
i have to root for Miss Shinobu over Koyomi, as much as i hate to, on this issue.
Let’s go, you can do it.
“Okay, Sengoku,” he comes back to the phone after a bit. “If that’s the deal, then we’ll say it’s fine. They lived happily ever after. But if it turns out you were just imagining that it was your imagination, and this really is some kind of aberration, you need to let me know. Okay?”
“O-Okay, i will… Th-Th-Tha-Thank you, Koyomi,” Nadeko says before hanging up.
i’d normally want to talk for longer on a call from him, but even i realize this isn’t the time.
Just as i put down the phone and sigh─
“Hsshh hsshh hsshh!” i hear from Nadeko’s right hand.
Her right wrist, actually.
A white snake has enwrapped Nadeko’s right wrist like a bracelet─no, it feels more like a scrunchy against her skin.
Of course, it’s not really a bracelet or a scrunchy.
The white snake is─just that, a white snake.
It’s Mister Serpent.
He only looks puffy because his scales are bristling.
“Aww, you’ve gone and lied to your dear Big Brother─you sure about it? It’s almost like you’re trying to hide one crime by committing another. When you keep going down that path, you eventually find yourself past the point of no return─hmmmm?”
“P-Please don’t be so loud.”
Nadeko puts her hand over her wrist and sneaks up the stairs so that her mom and dad in the living room don’t notice.
Then i go into Nadeko’s room and lock the door.
i feel a little better, for the time being.
i can breathe a sigh of relief.
“There’s no need to sneak around─you’re the only one who can hear my voice, Nadeko.”
“…”
i know that.
Even then, i don’t want people to see Nadeko when she’s talking with Mister Serpent─they might not hear his words, but everyone’s going to notice Nadeko’s reactions to them.
And.
Anyone can see the Serpent─now that he’s the size of a scrunchy on Nadeko’s wrist.
“If you’re able to become this small, why make your first entrance so big you covered that whole shrine?”
“Hsshh, hsshh, hsshh!” Mister Serpent laughs at Nadeko’s simpleminded question before answering, “I was putting on a show, that’s all─a show, for my grand entrance. What’s the point of an aberration if it doesn’t surprise humans?”
An aberration─that surprises people.
That’s something Koyomi said.
“…How big are you really?”
“Listen, I don’t have a size─because all I am is an idea.”
“An idea…”
Hearing this reminds Nadeko of something she learned in first-year math.
A line isn’t something that exists, it’s an idea.
It doesn’t have any length or width.
If you give it a length or a width, then it’s called a line segment, while a line is purely the straight line that connects two points─if you had to say how long, it’s infinite, and if you had to say how wide, the width is zero.
i don’t really get it.
What was that teacher trying to say?
Did he even know what he was saying?
When it comes to half-lines, i don’t even know what they are─but Nadeko thinks what she heard about lines then matches up to what the Serpent just said.
In short, it exists only in the mind, for the sake of explaining an explanation─
“Anyone is able to see me enwrapping your wrist, Nadeko, but that’s only because you think of me as being ‘visible to anyone’─or to go a little further, what’s happening is that I’ve possessed you, my dear.”
“Possessed…”
Possessed?
Isn’t that pretty bad?
Was Miss Kanbaru’s left arm possessed, or was that something else?
“Oh, don’t you worry─it’s just temporary. You only have to put up with it until the job’s done─hsshh hsshh!”
The Serpent seems to be in a good mood.
It kind of comes across as him being happy to have a physical form─but do aberrations get happy?
Oh, right, apparently Miss Shinobu jumps for joy when she’s given donuts.
i don’t know.
Nadeko sighs and sits down on the cushion in the middle of the room. It’s a little lazy of Nadeko, but i’m tired.
i’m not tired of lying to Koyomi─Nadeko isn’t particularly truthful and sometimes lies.
Just like everyone lies.
It’s not like i’m lying to him for the first time…but i’m not tired because i climbed a mountain, either.
i’m not physically tired at all, really.
The future is what’s making Nadeko tired.
When i think about what’s to come, Nadeko can’t begin to free herself from the “lassietude” she’s feeling…
“Ngh.”
But i can’t stay like this forever─because if Nadeko doesn’t move the story forward, she’ll have to wear this tacky scrunchy forever.
“You dare call it ‘tacky’─hmmmm?”
“…Can you read my mind? i…don’t think i said that out loud.”